There will be reviews…soon! April movie guide (Philippines)

The month of March was quite a dry one for me in terms of movies, as I was busy focusing myself on getting myself employed again.   This was a month where one week had to be set aside as most of the multiplex crowd were hitting the beaches, so it seemed that the big movie for that month was Roland Emmerich’s 10,000 BC – one which I decidedly wanted to avoid.   Sure, something can be said about Pinoys’ appetites for widescreen eye-candy “epics” packed with FX to the gills, they did not notice the Close-Up smiles and Gold’s Gym abs on the cavefolk battling sabretooth tigers and woolly mammoths (holy Ice Age, Batman!!!!).  

Speaking of “epics”, the comic “geniuses” behind “Epic Movie” (which I deeply regretting seeing at the cinemas last year)  and “Date Movie” once again proceed to scrape the bottom of the barrel with “Meet the Spartans”, where they proceed to spoof “300″, ”Transformers” and “Happy Feet” among others.  Their intentions are obvious not only in casting erstwhile Judd Apatow repertory player Sean Maguire in the King Leonidas role but also in casting Kevin “Hercules” Sorbo.   

Believe me, this Ilonggo-dubbed “300″ clip is much funnier than all 2 hours of “Meet the Spartans”.

Here’s a guide of what you can be expecting at Philippine cinemas for the month of April.  Let me assure you that all release dates are tentative and are therefore subject to change. 

Titles in italics are local releases.  Titles highlighted in orange are movies that I am definitely looking forward to…so expect a review or two!!!

April 2

Doomsday
Shutter
Semi-Pro
The Air I Breathe                                                                                                                               U23D

Doomsday was supposed to come out on the 22nd of March (along with Semi-Pro)…I just hoped you liked the posted preview featured in the March installment of this article series.  I’m just hoping that it did not suffer from any undue mutilation from our local MTRCB.

Anyway, here’s the HD trailer to Semi-Pro, the retro-styled basketball comedy starring Will Ferrell (who seems to be at home in the 70’s – he should play JohnMcEnroe in a biopic on his career)

Let’s just hope that the repeated delays in its local release did not mean it could’ve been similarly mauled by local censors.

April 9

No Country For Old Men
Possession
Nims Island
The Other Boleyn Girl

Yay – a LOCAL release at last for the Best Picture winner at the recent Oscar derby.   Sure, some may say it’s the Coen brothers remaking “The Fugitive”, but I couldn’t help but be intrigued by the characters played by Tommy Lee Jones and Javier Bardem.  Even then, as I see official DVD copies of Atonement on shelves in Astroplus a mere week after its much-delayed local theatrical release, I think it’s just going to be – sad to say – a short stop for that acclaimed masterpiece in our local multiplexes.

Meanwhile, I couldn’t help but be surprised that “The Other Boleyn Girl” is being released quite soon in local cinemas…I have long resigned myself to the feeling that Pinoys don’t go for period dramas, particularly those set after the Renaissance era.   Nevertheless, I can say that the hook for local moviegoers would be the sheer star power – no one can argue with the likes of Scarlett Johansson & Natalie Portman fighting for the affections of who could be the fittest-looking Henry the VIII to hit the screen – Eric Bana.

April 16

The Forbidden Kingdom
Definitely, Maybe
Big Stan
88 Minutes
Street Kings

Keanu Reeves and Laurence Fishburne suit up once again for cop duty, while Hugh Laurie goes to test his skill in playing more American characters in this gritty cop drama set in the world of the Los Angeles Police Department (LAPD).   Cedric The Entertainer goes dramatic this time around, while rappers Common and The Game get to show that their thespic skillz are just as good as their rhyming ones (in the case of Common, he was good enough to hold his own alongside Ben Affleck and Denzel Washington in “Smokin’ Aces” and “American Gangster”)

On the other hand, The Forbidden Kingdom unites Asian martial arts cinema icons Jackie Chan and Jet Li for the first (and maybe the ONLY time) ever.   Rob Minkoff’s respectful yet FX-filled take on Chinese wuxia cinema follows a young American boy’s magical adventure to the ancient China as depicted in these films; there, he takes on the path of the great Monkey King….aw, wait a second, how many times has Sengoku (Journey to the West)  been redone??? 

Give me Kung Fu Panda…or even Kung Fu Dunk anytime.

April 23

Never Back Down
Pathology
Strange Wilderness
The Savages

I’ve been hearing about “Never Back Down” (yes, they are sticking with the US title for the local release) being like an “OC-ed” up version of “Fight Club” aimed right at the gut of the MMA market.   Let’s not forget Djimon Hounsou’s Mr. Miyagi turn as the instructor who gets to whip the pretty-boy hero into fightin’ shape.

It’s the lull before the storm, so we see this serviceable action-drama go up against Oscar-nominated indie drama (The Savages), a med-room forensic thriller (Pathology) and a comedy about Bigfoot (among others) (Strange Wilderness).   

April 30 

Ironman
Ploning
When Love Begins
Hannah Montana/Miley Cyrus: Best of Both Worlds Concert Tour

How about this treat…not one but TWO HD Ironman trailers!!!

Well, I guess this has got to be the definitive kick-off film for the Summer Blockbuster™ season in the United States.   I just hope that it would yet launch yet another cinematic franchise from the one and only House of Ideas™, Marvel Comics.   Still quite difficult for me to get over the disappointment from Spider-Man 3 as well as Fantastic Four: Rise of the Silver Surfer and Ghost Rider.  Yet I am confident that Robert Downey Jr. (inspired casting here – an ex-alkie playing a jaded, pickled version of Bruce Wayne)  can carry this film well and beyond the usual popcorn crowd expectations.  Nevertheless, a tight story which touches bases with the comic canon, plus a cameo from Stan “The Man” Lee should get a lot of fanboy asses on seats.

Latebreaking news…a local offering combining 2 significant powerhouses in local cinema stands to take on Hollywood’s mechanized super-heroic offering!!!  Aga Muhlach – he of the apparently ageless face and ho-hum characterizations (don’t get me started as to how his “A Love Story” vanquished America’s #1 ‘toon family and Disney’s critical-darling gastronomic rodent in the local box-office) pairs up with Anne Hatha….ooops, I mean, Curtis (lemme guess on this one…will she be playing yet another Aussie-raised Pinay here) in ”When Love Begins”, a…well,  romantic vehicle set on the sands of Boracay (all the more reason to stuff Ms. Curtis in a bikini)

I’m a-bettin’ that this will end with a musical sequence….hahahahah!!!

movie releases